Marriage for Men- Study 1

Marriage may seem to be both a blessing and a curse, even at the same time. A Bible study question asked, "What event in your life was pivotal point for either your spiritual growth or personal growth." I answered, "When I asked Anita to marry me." Marriage, it is good, but it is not easy.

I decided to blog a study on Ephesians 5:22-33 in which Paul discusses the roles and responsibilities of wives and husbands. I'm starting with Ephesians 5:22-24. Although it talks about what wives must do I shall focus on what the husband must be doing within this context."

In v22 and v23 it says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Here are some observations:
a. The analogy is that the husband is like the Lord.
b. The husband is the head.
c. Paul mentions the church as his body.
d. He is the Savior.

First, this puts a tremendous amount of responsibility on the side of the husband. In relationship to the church, the Lord is the leader, he is the provider, he is aware of what is happening to his church, and he guides. He is patient, slow to anger, abounding in love. So we can easily see the application.

A new application for me is the guidance part. I would think my wife is old enough to make decisions on her own, even about small things. However, she looks to me for guidance. Doesn't a church or a believer often seek the Lord for guidance (or at least should)? Even for a small or obvious thing we pray, "Oh Lord guide us", or, "Lord lead us not into temptation". We as believers struggle and the Lord helps us, so also can be a tremendous help to our wives to guide. We as believers want affirmation of the Lord of what we are doing. Perhaps she wants affirmation from her husband of what she is doing.

I'll say something about observations b and c for later, and I'll say something about d. The Lord put something on my humble heart regarding this: the Lord is my Savior.

One time during my engagement I questioned whether getting married was something I should do. So I asked a coworker, a friend and a fellow believer this question. One thing he said that stuck out to me most was, "Well, if you want to be more like Jesus, then you should get married". He was married and he probably on purpose left out the details where there are times in marriage when you feel like you are being crucified.

Being a savior is not being a hero. It's being a sacrifice, so that a believer will have an abundant life and life everlasting. God clothed himself in humanity to be close to us and to really know us and that we can really know him. So the application is clear for husbands and what to do for wives. Dwell with her. Be with her. Sacrifice yourself to know her and so that she may know you. Take the responsibility even if your wife makes a mistake. Will a woman submit herself to a man who is an overbearing dictator, judgementally ruling from afar? Not at all!. But for a man who wisely leads with a sacrifice of himself, she will likely follow him no matter where he goes.

Men, let us not be stupid about these things. God calls us to be leaders, and he provided the perfect example of how to do so. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)